8.12.10

Funny Feelings

When I was small I wanted freedom. Freedom to do what I want, freedom from parental supervision, freedom to watch late night TV, freedom to skip school, freedom to come back home late at night. I am older now and all my wishes have come true, slowly, one after the other. And for a moment or two it seemed everything was going as I wanted. Then one night I went to bed and I just couldn't fall asleep. I lay there trying to manufacture dreams and suddenly I realized that I was missing the comfort of my parents arms around me, when they used to tuck me in bed when I was a child. That instant I wished I were a child again. I longed to be a child again.

Maybe growing up is not a good idea, after all. I'm old now and I live alone. I can't ask my parents to hold me now when I can't fall asleep because those days are long gone. Life is really funny.You want something one day and when you get it you realize it is not what you really want. They say, "you 'll never know what you really want until you're 45, and when you get it you're too old to use it." Maybe that's how life works, folks.

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